P56: Fatherhood Under Fire

28 Apr

Fatherhood is under fire!

Much as I might take credit in predicting behaviour patterns for adults, I am now at my wit’s end trying to understand the personality traits of my bonsai-man! In under 3 months, my cubby-cat is going to turn 2 years! Although I would want to be all misty-eyed and coo how fast time has flown, but now I am asking everybody I know if this is what they underwent when their kid(s) turned 2!

My baby boy is growing up to be a strong personality. He has strong likes and dislikes. Treat that as a neutral statement. It is good to have likes and dislikes. The problem arises when it comes to dislikes. His dislikes is usually when he is forbidden to do something that he fancies. The remit of those activities would be to throw his mum’s iPhone, to switch on all the lights and not turn them off, make a modern art with water on the centre table, crawl on the floor like Spiderman, kick every toy to see how far they are flung, gnaw at his costly book and then kick it away, dribble food from his mouth, flip the iPad from his chair when he is ‘done’ playing ‘Angry Birds’ or watching his videos and so on. Children his age do all that.

And when he is reprimanded for doing any of the mentioned, his first reaction is to bark his discontent and then swipe his hand at anything / anyone in close range. In other words, I have been slapped right across my face, apart from other body parts, by my son for asking him not to do something. It sounds embarrassing. Perhaps worse than being kicked or head-butted in the jewels (come on men, own up!).

Here are things that I do to reason with my child:

  • I talk to him in a low, calm voice. Success factor: moderate.
  • I tell him that what he is doing is not the right thing to do. Success factor: fail.
  • I raise my voice and say ‘NO’! Success factor: moderate to good.
  • I make him stand by a wall (like a strategic time-out). He is not allowed to move from that wall, however much he wails. Success factor: temporary.

It all looks good on paper but the reality is that my baby boy bawls his eyes out, makes a face like the sad-emoticon on smart phone applications and says ‘sorry’ in his heart-winning style. This is also the time when the father is being taken for a royal ride. Sometimes, the father is given a free hug and kiss. With the issue-at-hand quietly tucked away, little devil moves on to the next thing that is from the forbidden list. Now this is the cyclic order of the day.

It is all being associated to ‘Terrible Twos’ and the fact that children usually show their authority. There is no need for that at all. That has been the order in my family since the time we conceived. Our child is the king of the hill. A few have chimed in their concerns with mine, while my parents have given strict instructions that I should not scold the little fellow.

I make a new resolve each time to be more patient and to be nicer to my boy. Just that being slapped is not something that I have been particularly fond of.

One day, my child may read this post. Here is a small message to him. No son, this post is not to make a monster out of you. You are a great child – take it from a biased father. You show sensitivity and sensibility in many ways at such a tender age. Just that I have no clue why you do what you are not asked to do and then, why do you slap me (and mom and the domestic help)?

Please don’t slap me. I am your father. (And am saying that in a calming baritone)!

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One Response to “P56: Fatherhood Under Fire”

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. Vaderschap complex en uniek verschijnsel 2/2 | Stepping Toes - May 4, 2014

    […] P56: Fatherhood Under Fire (trainingfordaddydom.wordpress.com) It all looks good on paper but the reality is that my baby boy bawls his eyes out, makes a face like the sad-emoticon on smart phone applications and says ‘sorry’ in his heart-winning style. This is also the time when the father is being taken for a royal ride. Sometimes, the father is given a free hug and kiss. With the issue-at-hand quietly tucked away, little devil moves on to the next thing that is from the forbidden list. Now this is the cyclic order of the day.It is all being associated to ‘Terrible Twos’ and the fact that children usually show their authority. There is no need for that at all. That has been the order in my family since the time we conceived. Our child is the king of the hill. A few have chimed in their concerns with mine, while my parents have given strict instructions that I should not scold the little fellow. I make a new resolve each time to be more patient and to be nicer to my boy. Just that being slapped is not something that I have been particularly fond of. […]

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