Welcome to the end of the road.
Stark as it may seem, I can emphatically proclaim that the real challenges of parenthood do not start when the child is lump of cuddly lard where one may have to spend sleepless nights rocking the newborn. The real challenge starts when the child is 2 years plus and develops character. And ego.
My Cubby Cat is 2 years 6 months and I have noticed a sharp understanding of what he wants or does not want; what he likes and more importantly, what he dislikes. You could be a very good negotiator professionally, but all your skills come to nought when you have to negotiate with your bonsai child / children.
Scene 1:
Advait, my son, is fighting his sleep. His eye lids are droopy, laden with sleep but he does not want to sleep. Any amount of winding him down, playing lullabies, mood lighting does not help. He sits on the sofa, head cocked to one side, and he orders, “Michael Jackson moonwalk”.
Father puts on Billie Jean live in Munich. Son watching MJ glide from one end of the stage to the other.
Son places a new order,“Aeroplane fly fly”.
Father switches to Celine Dion song ‘Am Alive’.
The song dies a premature death because Advait then wants to dance to ‘original King Julius’ (of Madagascar) singing, “I want to move it move it”.
I sit beside him, hapless, licking my hurt ego, as I navigate from one folder to the other, playing him stuff he wants to watch.
Scene 2:
Advait wakes up in the middle of the night, starts bawling and screams “milky”. I pick him up to take him to the kitchen to make him some warm milk, when he starts giving me fresh instructions.
“Living room”
Daddy starts trudging to the living room.
Advait shrieks, “No living room. Gullu room”. Gullu is a nick that he likes.
Daddy is just about to step into Gullu Room, when Advait emphatically orders, “Milky Milky”.
I start taking him to the kitchen again.
Advait re-negotiates, “No kitchen, I want to sleepu”.
Daddy takes him back to the bedroom, having tried growling, cajoling and rocking him.
In 10 seconds, Advait lulls back to sleep. No ‘milky’ required.
Welcome to new-age-slavery. Our life now is filled with many such moments.
Fatherhood 