More often than not, I don’t like haircuts given to kids. This is not about why I don’t like visiting hair salons and surrender my mop to any random wannabe Edward Scissorhands. I don’t like what hair stylists (or barbers) do with kids hairdo.
Jim Carrey in Dumb and Dumber
All kids get the bowl cut. Creative. Is that all that can done?
It is the teen equivalent of getting the Mohawk with tons of ‘product’ in one’s hair! The bowl cut is particularly insipid. It makes every child look retarded! I didn’t get my child so that he’d look like Jim Carrey in Dumb and Dumber! Look hard at that photograph and imagine your face or your child’s face or anybody else’s for that matter! It does look a bit limp, doesn’t it? If bowl cut is what you can do, I suggest you become a gardener.
And for what joy should every child be made to look like a terrier? Sorry, dog-lover, no offence meant to your pooch-parenting. But what ticks me off is that irritating fringe!
My cub got 3 haircuts in almost 2 years! We three went for his first, which was a celebratory-snipping-while-swiping-at-the-iPad in a posh baby parlour! Ok, so I paid more for the photograph than the hair cut. But at least they knew how to humour my child.
The next two have been bigger disasters in increasing size. In fact, this post should have been written by my wife since she has taken our son to the hair salon on the last 2 occasions. However, she feels that it is a decent cut. I am told my child wasn’t comfortable at all; made life miserable for the stylist and that is the reason for the lawn-mowing that was given! Truth is, most children don’t like somebody with a ‘clickety-clacky’ thing snipping away at their nape. What you need is a stylist who is also a child-whisperer. Where are those fancy self-styled gurus when one needs them?
1. So if you see a salon with a car seat with a steering wheel, avoid it! They probably got it from an-out-of-business kids game zone!
2. If you see a hair-gelled specimen in a black apron and an expressionless face, avoid it! Chances are that the zombie’s previous job was at the cinema serving hot dogs and popcorn!
3. If you see a salon with cartoon stickers stuck all around, avoid it! The salon probably was a nursery before the landlord changed tenants!
Look for a place where there are people who seem to gauge and understand a child’s mood and then do a snip! And make sure you spell out that a bowl cut is not why you are visiting them with your child. Unless you really have a DVD of Dumb And Dumber in your collection!
Meanwhile, no public appearance for my child.
Fatherhood 